Attention employees of the New England District Army Corps of Engineers:
Last month we had an issue regarding the safety of personnel supervising the water intake to the spillway at Littleville Dam. On Thursday July 6th at 10:48 a.m. a visitor noticed that there was a beaver trapped in the water intake thirty feet upstream from the dam. After discovering the distressed beaver, the visitor contacted the park rangers on site to notify them about the beaver. The park rangers took immediate action attempting to save the beaver and help it pass through the dam getting it downstream. While attempting to trap the beaver in a fishing net, the tormented beaver bit a park ranger on the left wrist drawing blood. Thirty-five minutes later the rangers trapped the beaver in the net and carried it over the flood gate, getting it downstream.
While these rangers were heroic in action, this is not the protocol for the USACE. When a situation arises and a wild animal is in danger, immediately contact the Massachusetts Fish and Wildlife division and inform them about the situation. When their crew shows up, you shall assist them in whatever way they need. After completing the task immediately email Joe Falloretti at the New England District headquarters and notify him about the situation.
Remember, the safety of our park rangers is of upmost importance. If wild animals are in danger, contact the Massachusetts Fish and Wildlife and have them handle the situation. Take care and good luck!
Mike, the story of the beaver you have included in your memo really helps to make this a sticky memo. Whether or not the park ranger reading the memo was involved in the specific altercation or not, the story helps them relate directly to the message you are trying to convey.
ReplyDeleteYou also included many different things that made the memo credible, including the exact date and time of the incident, as well as mentioning the specific person that needs to be notified via email. I would even consider indluding his contact information, as well as the contact information for the Massachusetts Fish and Wildlife division.
What has made a lot of other student's memos so sticky is great attention grabbing opening lines. However, often in business there is a need for serious, straight forward communications about critical issues, so I like the serious tone that the memo starts out in. I would however, recommend possibly adding a title that would grab the attention of the Park Rangers a little more. Overall, very well done!
I like the use of details to help add to the credibility of the memo however I think David may have touched on something regarding the opening. If you had included something, maybe unexpected, it may help heighten the effectiveness of the intro and impact of the overall memo.
ReplyDeleteMike, this was a great story and the story became a perfect opportunity to highlight proper policy. Nice job! Very sticky!
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